The Thermomix Review

by mutteringhousewife

I shall now save you the trouble and expense of either hosting or attending a Thermomix party.

We’ve only heard about these miraculous additions to the busy housewife’s arsenal in recent years.  They are a German designed, French produced machine that was initially sneaked into Australia by a Perth housewife and engineer.  It has only recently worked its way across the country and into our notice.  They’re a fairly expensive bit of kit and require a fair bit of rubbing of the beard before you decide to invest in one.  You also need a comprehensive demonstration, which is why they’re only selling them through the housewife’s favourite – the party plan.

What they are is essentially a turbo charged blender on a heating element.  A description like that isn’t going to make you lay down a couple of thousand smackers, so you need to see it in action.  It has ten different blade speeds which will take you from pulverise to slightly chopped.  This function in itself can make icing sugar, almond meal, fruit juice, pesto, coleslaw, strawberry sorbet, hummus, the last three of which were demonstrated.  I have actually been making almond meal and icing sugar in the little one cup attachment to my stick mixer, also bread crumbs, so that’s not selling me.  It has made me determined to dust off the blender we got as an engagement present some decades ago and see if I can replicate the strawberry sorbet with that.

Then you get to the cooking bit.  You know that bit in dinner prep where you chop the veggies, then saute them, then add stuff and cook it for a bit.  Well, this gizmo does all that for you.  What I don’t get is that the recipe times seem to be a lot shorter than stovetop times, and yet the machine only goes up to 100 degrees Celsius and isn’t under pressure.  Perhaps because the blade (which has a sharp edge and a stirring edge) is stirring the stuff constantly.  It also has a device that sits on top that can utilise the steam escaping to cook your green veggies and couscous.  Or wontons, if that’s your preference.  This requires a special demonstration and a whole ‘nother party and has been given a special name which isn’t Valrhona, because that’s a chocolate brand, but something like it.

It all looks very sturdy, easy to clean and well designed and would definitely take the place of a food processor, blender, stick mixer, rice cooker and maybe even KitchenAid if you weren’t a heavy user.  You could really clean out your appliance cupboard if you were getting one of these babies.  I won’t be getting one, as you could probably guess, because I like chopping things up by hand, it gets rid of some of the latent aggression I build up by bottling things inside.  I also have a lot of time to cook.  My family don’t like their food mixed up, so the curries, soups, stews and casseroles that this dooverlackie specialises in aren’t of any use to me.

In summary, as the Moose would say because he’s studying for an English exam, you need a Thermomix if you have gainful employment or some other reason not to have a lot of time to cook, want to get rid of most of your appliances, and cook a lot of one pot meals.  It’s an impressive thingo.  I don’t need one.